My Backyard: September 2016

I've been wanting to do some exploring of upper Bells and Thunder bowl so last week I went up to the upper reservoir then made my way through the large notch to Thunder Bowl. It was beautiful. The route I picked to North Thunder, even though it looked fine from a distance proved to have a couple impassible sections without rope. As I made my way down from a different angle I could see the proper route but by then I was out of time. Even though I got stopped a few hundred feet from the summit it was still an amazing day in a beautiful area with a trailhead five minutes from my house :)

Upper Bells

Pretty awesome views of the backside of Lone Peak

The Big Notch, entrance to Thunder Bowl

Thunder Bowl

The better route, I think, we'll see next time

Millcreek with the family

I've been wanting to do this loop for quite awhile now and a couple weeks ago it all came together. Aaron had a meeting at 11 in Draper so we planned to meet at 6. At 6:10 I text Aaron to see if he was coming but he was sick and could no longer make it. In the dark, under the light of the full moon I thought about whether I still wanted to do the loop. I had already had a panic attack about this route the day before (even though I had done the slabs before, I have panic attacks about new routes often). I had prayed at lunch the day before that if I was just nervous and sick because of my messed up brain and not because I was being warned of a safety issue, that God would remove my anxiety about it. Before the prayer I was so sick I could barely force down my lunch and after the prayer my anxiety went away and I felt an assurance in my mind and heart that everything would be fine. I was again at peace. So when Aaron wasn't coming I thought about it again and still had that assurance, an assurance and confidence that stayed with me the entire route. I wasn't even scared of being out in the dark alone like I normally am. I started up the route and switched to my approach shoes at the base of the slabs. I was bummed Aaron couldn't make it, but being alone on this route and experiencing the route finding with no one around in the early morning was an incredibly spiritual and emotional experience. I have dealt with my anxiety disorder since high school and every time I have a win like this day it helps me reduce the hold fear has on my life and keeps it manageable. If I had retreated into the fear, than I would have just had that much more anxiety about it after not overcoming it. Living here with all these mountain adventures in my backyard had been such a blessing for me working through my depression and anxiety disorders.

The setting moon over the city lights was pretty amazing